#we think astarion is kind of boring like as a person but if we give him the right circle of friends we can make his trauma do fun things

[mantisgodsdomain]

Considering you seem not to think about astarion much its fine he can just stand in the corner or something

The recipe for becoming a lich requires a quart of blood from a vampire, and we're not sure a spawn will do the trick, but the process of creating a greater vampire involves killing the creature badly and at no point does it state that the creature has to be fully alive rather than undead before being killed in this manner so we're letting him do that and then he can stand in the corner or something.

[meanbossart]

Triple question here (started as one, then I got to thinking).

We've all seen Bhaalist Drow (that man can get it), but what would an Absolutist Drow look like? How'd he turn out if he controls the Elder Brain?

Alternatively, what would the dynamic between Bhaalist Drow and Ascended Astarion be like? Or AA and non-Bhaalist drow?

This is kind of a cop-out, but the supposed aftermath of the "control the brain" endings are really boring to me 😭 don't get me wrong, the actual cinematics and lines since patch 7 are AWESOME, but I can't think of any interesting followups after you become the literal absolute leader of the whole Sword Coast, y'know? Maybe that's a failure on my part.

Which is why in DU drow's evil ending I canonize that he can't fully control the brain with the stones - but he can keep it UNDER control and therefore uses it as a bargaining chip to further his own political games on the long-run and govern with fear.

Regardless of alignment, post-amnesia DU drow is always strongly opposed to the concept of the Absolute and relying on a more powerful force to achieve his goals (besides his own father). He used to be on-board with it pre-game, but that changes after everything that happens during the campaign and ESPECIALLY once he finds out how Orin used it to take him down.

So, basically, it's hard for me to come up with an answer to your first question because that would have to be a very different character. There isn't really a version of himself where he becomes that specific brand of evil without Bhaal's influence - even without Shadowheart or Jaheira to lead him down a slightly better path, a redemptive DU drow is more likely to become a full on murderer and cannibal rather than want to strip the earth of the ability to fight back - that's half the fun of it, after all.

As for Ascended Astarion, that's another branching path in this story that I'm still planning on exploring 😇 similarly to how we occasionally dip into the Bhaalist timeline for the drow.

An universe where both AA and Bhaalist DU drow exist would be tricky, since AA gives a tav the ultimatum of either being turned into his spawn or ending the relationship. I realize I could retcon this, but I don't want to - it feels core to that version of his character to want to have control over his partner IMMEDIATELY, and take the rejection as a betrayal. "Normal" DU Drow would never accept to be turned into a vampire spawn - Bhaalist DU drow would take the offer alone as an insult, not to mention do everything in his power to keep Astarion from ascending in the first place.

So, a romantic relationship between Bhaalist DU drow and Ascended Astarion simply wouldn't survive. In fact, I think they would very shortly after kill each other because of the ever-competing size of their egos.

Things wouldn't work too differently between normal DU drow and Ascended Astarion, save for the fact that DU would leave him alive and (hopefully) vice-versa. The person he fell in love with isn't there anymore and now encompasses everything he finds most irritating and off-putting - the exuberance, the pompousness, the thinly veiled desperation - he would lose his patience with AA right off the bat and from that point on they could hardly be in the same room together. Fortunately, Shadowheart and Jaheira would be around to keep DU drow from going off the deep-end after that.

There is one timeline where Ascended Astarion could really thrive, though:

I haven't gone much into the third possible outcome for a Dark Urge yet, but it is one where A.Astarion proposition would seem a lot harder to turn down - if not be the only choice he has left.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

FSBE 19 - Friendship is Still Magic

You wake up.

On AO3.

You wake on a bed stinking of licorice.

“Jesus,” you say as you try to breathe through your mouth.

Something moves, and a pale figure leans over you. A man’s voice—high and tight—shouts, and then somebody massive moves in. Huge, hot hands come up to your forehead, slide around the back of your skull to urge you up. A strong arm thick as a hickory sapling slides behind your back and then a cup is at your mouth.

You drink reflexively.

Gag immediately after.

Fucking licorice.

A big voice washes over you, tone gentle. It’s Halsin, you realize. You recognize that warm, kinda musky smell of him. Reminds you vaguely of something big and furry and slightly damp.

The pale figure moves. Astarion. This time, it’s cool glass and the stink of dirt just under your nose as he lifts a potion bottle. You slam that back, too.

(Well shit, that means you was asleep or unconscious, and the last thing you remember was sitting at the bar eating barley gruel, so…)

“Easy,” Halsin says when you get through grimacing. “I’ve sweetened this with honey, but it’s not to everyone’s taste. I still need you to drink it.”

More licorice juice. Goddamnit.

You chug down the rest of it as fast as you can. Slap a hand over your mouth to keep it from coming back up and spraying out through your clenched teeth. Which leaves you snot-nosed and gulping air when you’re done.

“Thank you,” Halsin says. “Astarion, might you hand me that pitcher?”

Your eyes water something fierce, but you can make out the room, now. High ceiling, big ass fireplace. You’re on a ramshackle bed at the end of a line of ramshackle beds. They’re mostly filled; harpers, you think. A lot of them is bloody.

“What happened?” you say.

“What do you remember?” Halsin says and goes to work wiping your face with a rag. And when you explain, he hums, and his thick fingers spider-walk around the entirety of your head. “Nothing broken, luckily. But your brain may be bruised. The tonic I gave you should help with that. And to answer you, we were attacked by an Absolutist named Marcus. Until today, he was one of the harpers. He brought a cohort of some kinds of winged creature, a type of ghoul, I think.”

“Dreadful things,” Astarion sniffs. He’s sitting in a chair next to you, arms crossed, one leg hitched over the other. There’s speckles of blood in his hair, and you hope it ain’t yours. He looks bored and a touch irritated, but he sits there with blood in his hair and he’s usually real fussy about his hair.

“How long?” you say. Despite the licorice juice, or whatever that shit was, your tongue is thick in your mouth. Your vision grays around the edges when you try to sit up.

“Less than an hour ago,” Halsin says. “You were buried when one of them came through the roof. I’m told it was young Astarion who dug you out.”

Young?

“Young?” Astarion says. “The only person in this room older than me, bear, is you.”

He dug you out. It ain’t the first time, neither. You fell when y’all set off them bombs in the goblin camp. He tried to deny it, but he found you lying on the floor and pulled the wreckage off you (and killed the shit outta the goblin coming in to murder you). And that was when y’all didn’t even like each other.

(Wait, what does that mean now.)

“Gonna have to start a punch card,” you say.

Astarion looks down at you. Then turns to Halsin. “Are you sure she drank all the potion?”

“It’s a reference.” You wave vaguely in his direction. “You go to a food place or something, and they give you a paper card to punch a small hole through every time you come. After ten or whatever, you get some kinda freebie.”

Halsin makes a mildly interested sound even as he moves outta your field of vision. Astarion just arches an eyebrow at you.

“Your world is a mystery, darling,” he says. “And I haven’t given you anything of the sort.”

“You saved me like, three times now.”

His face does something complicated. Then Halsin’s back, and he looks away.

“We cannot spare any of the higher grade healing potions just now,” the big man says. “You should be well come morning, provided you rest here and take the next dose of tonic in a few hours.”

Lae’zel and Shadowheart are gonna be so pissed.

“Kay,” you say. Which probably don’t mean nothing to him, but he don’t ask.

Once Halsin goes to check on the next poor bastard, you look to Astarion. He’s got a bruise you didn’t notice on the side of his face, but appears otherwise fine.

“You hurt?” you say.

“A lucky shot,” he says and touches the mark. “The nasty beastie died gurgling on its own fluids shortly thereafter. You’re feeling better, then?”

Your head pounds and you feel a bit like you’re lying on your back in a rowboat at sea. But you can wiggle all your fingers and all your toes. Can lift your limbs and count backwards down from ten and only get a little tired.

“Don’t think nothing up here’s scrambled any worse’n it already was by the worm,” you say. “The others?”

“We all fared much better than you, darling. You certainly have a knack for catching the worst of it.”

And then something flashes across his face at that. He buries it quick, but it looked…scared? Hurt?

“I think my existence here might be an affront to the laws of statistics,” you say, which settles him back to his usual smarmy brooding.

He snorts. Pokes (gently) your right cheek. “Well, I certainly appreciate you being here.”

And then you both gotta look at each other and acknowledge that yes, he did say that.

“So we’ll—”

“I’d best be—”

You both shut up.

Halsin bends over a guy at the other end you don’t recognize. A man with dark, curly hair. He ain’t awake, and the big man wets a cloth bandage over Curly’s chest so he can slowly peel it away from what looks like a mauling gash running down the guy’s whole torso.

Oh look, a messed up distraction.

“What got him?” you say.

“Oh, you did miss that, didn’t you? The bear thinks he’s got something to do with breaking Shar’s curse.”

“Huh?”

Oh yeah, it’s a good distraction. His eyes gleam the way they do when he’s got something he thinks is juicy. With a touch of nerdy arrogance.

“This whole place. Shadowcursed, darling, remember?”

“That’s Shar? Like, Shadowheart’s Shar?”

Astarion mock gasps. Then uncrosses his legs to lean in. “I wouldn’t say that around our dearly devoted cleric, darling, it’ll go right to her head. But yes. That Lady of Loss. Our darling druid is looking for some child. Says he’s the key to breaking this oppressive darkness, and he seems to think that poor wretch over there might be able to lead him to the little scamp. Trouble is, our new friend won’t wake up.”

Halsin’s movements are calm and gentle. Even as his brown furrows, his stare focused like some bird of prey. Until he closes his eyes, rests his paw of a hand on the prone man’s chest, and his lips move in a spell or a prayer.

“That’s the trouble with gods,” Astarion says. He’s also watching. “They never do step in when it would be of benefit to anyone. They’re rather good at smiting, however.”

You snort. “Tell me about it.”

His head tilts to the side as he regards you again. “So, my dear. How do you intend to handle our looming operation? You didn’t seem, ah, very pleased at the prospect.”

Walking into a cult of psychic brainworms. You’re gonna have to act like them. Think like them. Put on a mental bathing suit left crusty and stinking in the sun.

All to find some unkillable shitlord and figure out how to un-unkillable him. And probably disband what Jaheira says is a motherfucking army.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to find a way to cut that old bastard’s head off and take his place?” Astarion says.

Oh cool, he’s back on that again.

“You want an army of goblins?” you say. “Jaheira said there was a lot of them.”

Man’s nose wrinkles. “Well, no. But we could learn to work with that. To start out, I mean. Recruit others. And she said there were drow. Think of how fun it would be to command a legion of drow.”

“What for?”

He blinks. “For the power, darling. Who wouldn’t want more power if they could reach out and take it?”

Says the man who got stripped naked and flirted about it.

Oh lord.

It makes sense. The pattern forming in your head. Someone used to being nothing. So nothing being violated like that didn’t even make him blink. Of course he’s gonna say that. Of course he’s gonna mean it, too.

“I think we can do better,” you say.

He searches your face, eyes narrowed. “Better than an army at our beck and call?”

“Armies are big and unwieldy. Gotta keep them all fed and housed and disciplined. Sounds like a lotta work.”

He hums.

“Much easier with a small group,” you say. “A task force.”

His eyes narrow further to cat slits. “Darling, if you suggest friendship is the key to gutting that bastard, I may have to break up with you.”

“Didn’t say friendship. I mean a wizard and a hero and the scourge of the hells and Shar’s cleric and a fucking githyanki. Maybe even a bigass druid. Think of the sound it’d make if he turned into a bear and bit that fuckface in the skull. Bet he could pop it like a melon.”

Astarion taps his chin. “You do have a point there.”

“And they’re our friends.”

He pulls back. Looks like a cat that sniffed a dirty sock. “Gods, if you keep that up I’ll need to find a bin to vomit up this saccharine sweetness into.”

“I bet Lae’zel could rip his spine right out his back and then beat the rest of him to death with it.”

Astarion shivers. Visibly shivers. “Oh, I do like the sound of that.”

“And she’d probably bite me if she heard me say it, but I think she’s our—”

“Ah ah!” Astarion moves fast when he wants to. His hand plants right over your mouth, face stern. Or it would be, except the corners of his lips twitch like he’s trying not to snort. “Don’t spoil the mood. Now, as depraved as these murder fantasies of yours are—and I’m certainly not complaining—I do have to go find a snack. If you’ll excuse me.”

He releases you. Stands up all fluid and graceful. Stands there just a beat.

“Yeah,” you say. “I am still tired. But, if you get bored and you wanna read more…?”

A pause, and then he smiles. “Of course.”

You want to think it’s genuine. Ain’t no reason for him to lie to you about reading, right? Y’all’re together, and you know the man likes to read. He likes to talk, too. So the only thing that’d make his smile fake would be…you.

You try to shove that down. He could go after almost anybody else in camp, you’re sure. If he didn’t, y’know, like you. Right? He’s got no reason to stay with you if he didn’t want to.

Right?

Then the door across the room slams open. Even Halsin jerks outta his spellprayer as Karlach all but bursts in.

“Manners!” Astarion says.

But Karlach is all but squealing as she stomps towards you. “Dammon’s here! And he had infernal iron!”

“That’s very nice, darling, now why—” Astarion don’t get no further before she charges over and scoops him up into what looks like a real spine-cracker of a hug. “No! What—you aren’t burning.”

“I’m not burning, Fangs! I can touch people, again. I can actually touch people!”

“Wonderful, I’m delighted, now put me down.”

She drops him and he literally scampers back a few feet like a hissing cat. Leaving you in Karlach’s sights.

“I’m still hurt,” you say.

“Can I give you a careful hug?”

Oh huh. Didn’t know you could get weak knees laying down. Neat.

“Yeah,” you all but squeak.

And she is so warm, and so solid as she carefully folds herself over you. Smells like a hot car and a faint trace of brimstone. You ain’t normally a hugger. Only when somebody else asks you (and even then, you go all stiff and awkward). But this is…nice. You let her hold you and feel the thrumming of her infernal engine. Let the heat still pouring off her soothe into your aching skin. Catch Astarion watching from a few feet away.

So you take a risk. Lift one hand to point at Karlach’s back and mouth, “Friends.”

He rolls his eyes and waves you off. But there’s a hint of a smile on him when he turns to go.

Note: I am, for the next few weeks, gonna have to pause the Wednesday updates. Got busy on the non-fandom side (nothing bad). Should be back by April though.

[thecampjuicebox]

Glorious Suffering

Pairing: Abdirak x Tav(f) x Astarion

Rating: 18+ NSFW, Minors DNI

POV: 2nd person

Warnings: SMUT, sadomasochism, use of objects for hitting, blood, bruising, biting, voyeurism/exhibitionism, orgasm denial, oral, fingering, p in v penetration, minor game spoilers

Trying out a new writing format to put better emphasis on dialogue. Let me know what you guys think!

The stench of blood and unwashed bodies lingers in the air like a thick blanket. It stings in your nostrils - singes the hairs with gut churning ferocity. Putrid. It makes your eyes water. Your stomach turns and bubbles as your breakfast threatens to make a second appearance. The once grand Selunite Outpost has since crumbled to near ruins, the occupation of goblins tainting its beauty and grace in a matter of days. Filthy pests, they are. You turn your head up, eyes watering from the scent as you climb the stone stairs toward a hallway of small rooms. Your group follows close behind reluctantly.

"This place is disgusting." Astarion whines, tip-toeing around small piles of bones and viscera.

Cautious eyes peek around corners. The first room is brightly lit with candles and lanterns, a young man strapped by the wrists and ankles to some sort of torture device. Two goblins swing maces and whips in his direction, shouting obscenities and asking for information. Information the man clearly doesn't seem to have.

"Pathetic. All of them." Shadowheart huffs, turning her nose up at the display with obvious disdain for what she's seen.

"They can't even properly swing a mace to cause actual damage. Lady Shar would be displeased."

Astarion grins at the sight. Excited fingers crawl against the stone brick wall to take hold of it as he leans into the doorway, his tongue flicking out to wet his bottom lip and trace the sharp points of his fangs.

"Let's stay and watch." The spawn's flirtatious nature can be so insufferable sometimes.

"Astarion, come. We have other business to attend to." Your voice is sharp and stern, seemingly the only way the elf will listen to you.

"You're such a bore." He groans, pulling away from the wall and hooking his index finger into the back of your leathers, giving them a playful tug toward him as he presses close to your behind and mumbles into your pointed ear.

"Doesn't that device look like such fun? We should give it a try once the little green ones have no more use for it."

Your cheeks burn crimson and a disengaging elbow flies out from behind you, connecting with Astarion's abdomen hard enough to force him to let go of your leathers.

"Not now, you tease." With a cough, he puts some distance between the two of you - an insidious grin lingers on his lips.

The second room draws closer and the quiet mumble of a man inside makes your ears perk up. His voice is strained, the occasional sounds of mace to skin ringing through the hall. He cries out, and every hair on your body stands on end. Astarion rounds the corner first, stumbling upon a man with medium build, knelt down in front of one of the rear walls of the room. He stands and turns to your group slowly, eyes falling on you first. His gaze is almost.. Comforting. Silver eyes pierce through you like the sharpest dagger. It nearly knocks the breath straight from your lungs. His chest and abdomen are alarmingly bloodied and bruised, little cuts and scratch marks speckling his skin. Astarion clears his throat once he notices your eyes locked on one another and the human offers a kind smile.

"Greetings, child. I've met few aside from Goblins here. Are you also here to assist with the prisoner?" He questions, motioning toward the room just next door.

You shake your head slowly, averting your gaze to the floor for a moment. Warmth swirls in your belly. He's incredibly handsome, the salt tones in his blonde hair showing his age. His voice is low and raspy and it sends shivers up and down your spine when he speaks - like sweet red wine to your ears. Delicious and intoxicating. His face contorts into a grimace as he crosses his arms over his chest and rests his weight on one foot.

"Hm. While I was thrilled to be invited here, I must confess I find the goblins and their methods.. Crude and primitive." He leans forward at his last word, eyes narrowing toward you. "Pain without purpose is a terrible thing. Wouldn't you agree?"

Your cheeks involuntarily flush that deep shade of crimson that clearly gives you away. He awakens something within you. You'd recognize his garb from miles away. A follower of Loviatar, the Maiden of Pain. The things this man has probably seen. The things he's done. It excites you in a way that's almost embarrassing. A familiar ache pings in your core and you can't help but cross your legs, squeezing your thighs together tightly to dull the desperation. The inherent need. The human before you certainly notices and takes a step closer, inhaling slowly before he speaks. He's toying with you now. He must be. Astarion can smell the growing eagerness in your blood, hear the way your pulse quickens, life force pumping into different parts of you now. He smirks and keeps quiet, but gods, is he painfully aware.

"Forgive me -" The man interjects, pointing directly at you now. You gulp. "but that look in your eyes. Something terrible has happened to you."

You cross your arms over your breasts, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. "Clever man. How did you know?"

"Because I see those same eyes when I look in the mirror.. Dear one." His hand reaches out to caress your soft cheek and goosebumps raise by the millions on your skin. "We've all suffered in these.. Dark times. It is little wonder you bear scars of pain and anguish. Please. Let me.. Alleviate this pain."

"What exactly would this entail?" Astarion's voice cuts through your thoughts and your eyes shift to him in disbelief.

"Well, the Maiden of Pain, Loviatar, teaches us that pain is a most powerful and sacred sensation. And, should our pain delight her, she will grant her most sacred of blessings." His hands clench into excited fists in front of him. "If you would permit it, I could show you first hand."

A knot forms in your stomach, twisting and tangling, his words sending jolts of arousal and excitement throughout your entire body like bolts of lightning. This experience would be new, however. The idea of such an act being performed in front of your newly acquired companions, and the man you'd started to have feelings for, makes your brain fuzzy. Gods, they'd for sure say no. Maybe even leave you to find a cure for the wriggling parasite behind your eyes by yourself.

"Sounds like a wonderful show. She accepts." Astarion beams, his eyes fixed on you, scanning up and down as your heartbeat quickens further. "As long as we can stay and watch."

"Surely Shadowheart has some reservations about watching, right?" You ask with an air of desperation that's almost laughable.

She grins and places her hands on her hips, quirking an eyebrow at you. "Lady Shar would frown upon me if I were to miss something as deliciously torturous as this. Go on."

"Oh, I have something exquisite in mind." He rubs his hands together, a devilish grin smeared across his lips. It makes your core ache even more. "Disrobe, face the wall, and we can begin. And by the way.. You may call me Abdirak."

Disrobe? Gods, this was not on your list of things to do today. Kill some goblins? Sure. Save a wildshaped druid from death? Easy. This? This may be the most difficult thing you've ever done. Astarion waves a hand toward you, motioning for you to obey the Servant of Loviatar. Your confidence wavers for a moment. Not only are you about to willingly endure what is essentially torture, now you must do it.. Naked. You gulp and set your backpack down at your feet. First goes your boots, next your leather harness, your head turning to look at Astarion who is enamored by the sight of you slowly undressing, his back pressed against the cold stone wall. Another gulp. How embarrassing.. Shadowheart snickers quietly at your obvious discomfort. Trembling fingers struggle with the laces of your tunic and in a bout of frustration, you quickly tug it over your head. The white linen falls to the floor at your feet, your perky breasts bouncing ever so slightly from the rushed movements. A quiet sigh emits from Abdirak and he quickly looks to his table of various weapons, hand hovering over the selection.

You finally tug your leathers down past your knees, kicking them to the side with reckless abandon just to get it over with. Your lack of underwear earns a barely audible groan from both Astarion and Abdirak alike. Naked and exposed, you shiver, hands resting at your sides.

"Well, go on, darling. Don't be shy."

Astarion's words give you the final push to step forward. You face the wall as instructed and chew at your bottom lip as the human lifts a mace into his hands, turning it over to inspect its condition. A quiet "Yes.. This will do nicely." stoking your fire as you wait. Abdirak approaches you from behind, reaching down to guide your hands toward the wall, foot kicking between your ankles to spread your legs apart. The cold metal of his mace traces along your spine and you shudder, teeth chattering at its frosty bite. You wait with baited breath. Brace for the imminent kiss of pain. Abdirak rears back and lands a blow to your back hard enough to knock an involuntary yelp from your throat. Astarion chews the tip of his thumb, his right hand lowering to the front of his leathers to palm at his growing erection. The half elf stood close beside him eyes him carefully, and then you, arms crossing over her chest now, completely unamused.

"The pain you suffer will cleanse you. Do not fight it."

A loud sob follows Abdirak's words as you process the pain, blood trickling from a new gash on your skin. You beg for mercy, plead for the pain to stop, your knees nearly buckling beneath you. But this is only the first blow, there is so much more to come. Somewhere deep down inside, you're enjoying this. Your companions watching as you stand there, completely vulnerable, bloodied and bruised. Open to the elements and whomever wanted a taste. The human licks his lips.

"Your voice sounds so sweet, dear one. Keep going."

"Don't wear her out entirely, priest. We may have use for her yet." Shadowheart grins, eyes narrowing on your trembling frame.

Her mocking tone and underlying breathiness strikes an interesting chord with you. Exciting. Stimulating. Blood pumps in your ears - a deafening drum beat that only you can hear. You sway your hips to the rhythm and Astarion chews at his bottom lip, ready to pounce. Hunger burns in his stomach. Emptiness. Even though he'd fed on you just hours before, his mouth salivates like he's positively starved. He intends to devour you in one way or another.

Your tormentor rears back to land another blow, this time to your ass, and it nearly knocks you forward into the wall. You grit your teeth and stifle a scream and Astarion groans at your strained noises. He's enjoying this almost as much as you are, you're just much better at hiding it. Arousal soaks your folds. Your walls flutter around nothing and you chew your bottom lip to stifle a moan as Abdirak lands a third blow against your thigh. Nails dig into the stone bricks, almost bloodying your fingers. Gods, you want more. Need more. Abdirak takes a step back to admire his work, rubbing the tip of the mace up your inner thigh, dangerously close to your cunt. You whimper and he quirks an eyebrow. In a sudden change of mind, he swaps the mace for a paddle, little circles cut from the wood to increase the sensations. A quick smack earns a loud cry from your lips.

"That's it, dear one! Let Loviatar hear you!"

"Not the worst technique, priest. Good wrist movement. Lots of.. Enthusiasm." Shadowheart interjects again plainly.

Astarion continues to palm at his cock as he watches, eyes fixed solely on you. The way your blood bubbles up and trickles over your flesh. The scent of your arousal. It's the sweetest perfume and he can hardly control himself.

"You're being so good for him, darling. Keep going."

The vampire spawn's voice is breathy and low. You moan just from his words and Abdirak lands another smack to your opposite ass cheek, a large red print immediately surfacing and swelling on your skin. "Fuck!" You cry loudly. Tears sting in the corners of your eyes. The human grins and sets the paddle down, moving behind you to trace his fingers over each bruise, cut, and mark he'd left. Little trophies of devotion. His goddess will be pleased. You shiver at the contact of his fingers.

"Sweet child.. You bore the pain like a true believer. I am proud to have served you this penance."

"Th-Thank you.." You muster quietly, bottom lip still trembling at the threat of tears. "I enjoyed myself."

Abdirak tilts his head back and sighs heavily, one hand reaching down to trace over your bruises once more. His cock throbs beneath his garb and he presses a free hand into it, groaning at the friction.

"As did I, dear one. Loviatar herself found your performance.. inspiring."

He grins and steps to your side, leaning close to your ear. His breath is warm and smells of a metal. More goosebumps speckle your skin as he presses his lips to your pointed ear and whispers quietly.

"And on a personal note.. Thank you. That was positively divine. This doesn't have to be the end, however. You've proven yourself perfectly capable of accepting such exquisite pleasure. I'd love to show you so much more."

"She'd love that. May I assist?" Astarion murmurs, approaching the two of you with confidence.

Normally you'd be incredibly irritated by the vampire spawn speaking for you, but now, Gods you couldn't be more grateful. A cold hand cups your cunt suddenly and you jolt at the sensation, back arching forward as Astarion's middle finger presses just barely into your folds and against your clit.

"Mm. She's so wet for us."

Sharp teeth just barely pierce your shoulder, a sensation you've become all too used to ever since you discovered the pale elf's affliction. You'd let him feed on you when it was needed, and sometimes purely because you enjoyed how he'd hold you close to him. How he'd savor your taste and lick your skin clean. His sweet words of encouragement as he'd bite into another place. And the way he'd talk you through the dizziness once he was finished. Your brain whirs with arousal as Astarion coos quietly against your skin and presses little kisses to the now bleeding spot. He drags his fangs over your flesh with torturous slowness, exhaling heavily at the salty taste of your sweat and blood combined. The finger pressed to your clit begins moving in circles and you nearly fall apart right there. Your legs tremble. Toes curl against the stone beneath your feet. Abdirak picks up the paddle once more and eyes Astarion. They exchange a glance of approval and the paddle makes fiery contact with your skin once more, over the same swollen spot it had assaulted before.

A mix of pain and pleasure courses through every vein in your body and your vision goes white. You could cum at any moment. Another smack. And another. And another. Astarion lowers his hand from your cunt, landing a smack of his own against your folds and your knees nearly give out at the force.

"Gods, please.." you whimper loudly, head falling between your shoulders.

"Yes, beg for it, dear one. You're doing so well for us."

"What a good girl you are, darling."

Their combined praises is enough to push you over the edge, but you hold on tightly. You can't cum. Not yet. Astarion's fingers circle around your slick soaked slit, playing with the clear sticky fluid for a moment. One digit slides inside first and you whine loudly, hips pushing back against him.

"M-more.." you beg.

A second finger slides inside and stretches your entrance ever so slightly, the cold digits pressing firmly into that spongey spot that could stop your heart.

"More!" You cry, and both men behind you grin at your desperation.

Abdirak slides his index finger into his mouth to soak it with his spit before lowering it between your thighs, forcing it inside of you atop Astarion's hooked fingers. The stretch burns in the most delicious of ways.

"Please.. Please more.."

A second finger of Abdirak's slides inside and finally you're sated, hips bucking back against their hands rhythmically. Astarion kneels down and sinks his teeth into your left ass cheek, blood trickling from the flesh and down his chin as he sups of your nectar, his eyes rolling back in his skull. He can taste your orgasm building. Your arousal and desperation. Your every need and want. His fingers pump in and out of you with bruising speed and Abdirak follows suit, his free hand reaching around the front of your waist to pinch your clit between his thumb and index. He rolls the sensitive, swollen bud between his fingers and presses sloppy, open mouthed kisses down your bloodied ass and thigh, savoring the metallic tang of your blood and the sweetness of your sweat. A delectable treat for all of his senses. Your moans grow louder and louder, jaw hung open and drool falling from your mouth in a steady stream. An eager hand reaches up to shove itself into your mouth and cover itself in your spit before moving back to your clit, spreading the wetness around.

The knot in your belly grows tighter and tighter, wound like a bow string, and you squeeze your eyes shut at the near painful overstimulation of your slit. Still the fingers work furiously against your walls.

"I'm gonna - I need to - Gods please!"

"Ah ah ah, use your words, darling. What do you need?"

The spawn drags his tongue over the globe of your ass to clean the remainder of blood from your skin. A quiet groan escapes his lips and he stands again, free hand taking hold of your hair to stand you fully upright.

"I need to cum.. I'm gonna -"

Just as you're about to topple over the edge, both sets of fingers are pulled from your cunt, a thick rope of slick still connecting you with the two men standing behind you. You keen at the emptiness. Your walls squeeze and contract around nothing. Abdirak lands a hot smack against your clit, and then another, and another, grinning as you sob loudly at the strikes. His pulls his hand away reluctantly, slipping his slick covered digits into his mouth to suck them clean. Astarion flashes him a toothy grin.

"N-no please.. Please!"

All you can muster are pathetic pleas and raspy whines, your feet stomping in frustration against the dirty stone beneath you. Astarion's fingers wrap themselves around your throat from behind and yank your back against his front, the threat of his angry erection rubbing back and forth against your bruised ass. You're fully exposed. Vulnerable. Writhing and crying for release. Such a beautiful sight to the vampire spawn and the servant of Loviatar. This is torture.

"Shadowheart, my dear. Are you sure you're not interested in some fun?"

"I'd much prefer to watch, thank you."

The half elf smirks and leans against the wall, eyes scanning over the scene just a few feet away. Her eyes narrow on you and you can feel her gaze burning holes into the back of your head. Does she approve? Do you even care? Skilled fingers work the front of Astarion's leathers open and his cock springs up and out, a soft slap against your ass startling you from the heavy daze filling your head. Your brain feels like cold snow slush. Your legs are weak, growing weaker by the second as Astarion rubs the tip of his weeping cock against your hungry slit. You nearly pull him right in and he hisses at the tightness. The invitation. Abdirak lowers himself to his knees in front of you, both hands finding purchase on your hips to keep himself steady. Gentle kisses pepper your abdomen, hip bones, and your stubbly mound, a shiver running up your your spine at the warmth of his breath against your sex. You wiggle your hips, both to tease the vampire spawn behind you, and to beckon the human's lips toward the spot you need him most.

Without warning, Astarion slips inside. His size surprises you. The delicious burn of the stretch, how he's nearly in your guts before bottoming out. Gods, he's huge. A careful push of the hips nestles him fully inside and he waits there for a moment.

"By the nine hells, you're tight.." He murmurs, lips pressed tightly to your ear now.

Abdirak's tongue flattens against your clit and he lifts his head to slide it up and over your mound, repeating this same movement to go back down. His strokes are slow and calculated. The combination of sensations makes your legs tremble like leaves in the winter air, and your hands fly down to tangle in the human's hair and guide his head. With a tut, Astarion reaches around to quickly grasp your wrists and yank them behind your back - you're pinned in place, forced to submit to his quickening thrusts and the skilled swirling of Abdirak's tongue. Your frame bends forward just slightly at the force of the spawn's thrusts, your legs spreading further apart instinctively. Again, that familiar knot twists and tightens in your belly and surely you'll cum at any moment. Astarion's free hand moves your hair away from the side of your neck to expose the still-healing bite marks from just the night before. He lines his fangs up perfectly re-open the wounds and you hiss at the sting. Like shards of ice in your veins. Overcome by pleasure and blood loss, your vision goes fuzzy. Drool drips from your lips and down your chin. Positively cock drunk.

Not even a soft moan is able to escape now. Only heavy exhales and gasps making your lungs burn and your throat raw. Abdirak's tongue works with surprising artistry against your clit still, lips sucking and tugging at the bundle of nerves to earn any sounds he possibly can from you. The loud slap of skin against skin rings throughout the stone room. Surely the rest of the outpost could hear you. You're surprised you don't have an audience gathered in the door way, watching the way you're being devoured and fucked into oblivion. The vampire spawns teeth leave your neck with a soft slurp sucking the last little drops of your blood through the puncture wounds, his tongue swirling around his lips and teeth to collect the remnants. Astarion's thrusts begin to lose their rhythm and you can't help but grin as his cock twitches erratically inside of you. Abdirak quickly releases your clit from his swollen lips, ducking his head further to use his tongue on Astarion now. The tip of the human's tongue traces the furry outline of the vampire spawns sack before sucking one ball into his warm mouth, massaging it in his jaw. The he switches, and the primal growl that escapes Astarion makes your heart flutter.

"Fuck, I'm cumming! Oh gods, I'm cumming!" He groans loudly, nails digging harshly into the plush meat of your hips as he quickly pulls himself from your constricting walls and spills his seed onto the small of your back.

Your end draws near, Abdirak's fingers finding their way into your cunt with impressive speed. They hook forward into that perfect spot and you cry out loud, finally able to make some sort of noise. The spawn behind you rubs his softening cock against your ass, keeping a tight grip on your arms behind your back still. Quiet squelches and slurps from the human between your thighs make you grin. Disgusting. Cold hands keep a careful grip on your trembling body. One restraining your hands, the other wrapped tightly around your throat now, playing with the pressure against your arteries. First a soft squeeze. Then it builds, and your hearing muffles. Black spots invade your vision. The spawn releases, and all of it comes rushing back. You gasp loudly for air, lungs on fire. Playfully, he repeats this again and again - bringing you to the brink of unconsciousness then quickly yanking you back. Soft coos and words of praise work you up to your climax.

"Such a good girl. So obedient. You like that, don't you? You like when I tell you how good you are?"

You nod in agreeance, unable to speak. Words feel foreign on your tongue. Your mouth is dry now, like you've filled it with linen. Still your end builds. Loud cries, sobs, and screams alert all of Faerun of your pleasure. You should be embarrassed. Ashamed, even. But you couldn't care less. Not now. You nearly topple over the precipice of pure ecstasy when suddenly.. The feeling disappears. Abdirak moves back from his original spot. Your cunt aches. Empty. A soft whimper escapes you and your head falls back against Astarion's broad shoulder.

"You thought we were going to let you cum? Little love.. How naïve."

His words sting like bees. Little Love. The degradation should upset you. Should ruin whatever arousal you have left. But it doesn't. If anything, it adds oil to the fire. You're more wet than ever. Heat rises in your ears and the tips turn a bright red, your fists balling up behind you in frustration as you try and wiggle out of his grasp. Through gritted teeth, you growl. A pathetic performance, on your part. Abdirak stands before you and circles his index finger over both of your nipples, smirking at you with half lidded eyes as each one perks up.

The half elf across the room giggles in amusement.

"Positively cruel."

"Patience, dear one.. You'll meet your end soon enough."

[moltensmusings]

I follow some people who talk about baldurs gate 3, and the way the fandom almost largely goes out of its way to babygirl everything astarion does while refusing to give the same leniency to the far less evil characters is baffling.

I feel like Gale, Wyll, and Lae'zel are the ones who often make this the most clear. Under the cut.

Whether it's because of the glitch pre console release or just a general refusal to engage with his story, people like to paint this picture of Gale being some Narcissistic abuser who is only ever power hungry. I've seen people try and justify mystra's actions. Now even if Gale was a young adult when Mystra came to him, Mystra is his goddess. She's in charge of the weave. She had so much more power over him, student/teacher and boss/underling relationships are so looked down upon because of that inherent power imbalance. And I think there's also an implication that this is relatively normal for all versions of mystra to do to younger men.

Elminster isn't free of criticism because he actively brought a young Gale to be groomed into becoming a pawn for Mystra. Gale gets discarded by mystra for his seeming ambition and wants to move on, but is also still desperate to please her in anyway he can, and she tells him to kill himself. I don't understand how people go through his plotline and see him believing the only way he's useful is dead and then just assume he's just power hungry. Is he a bit full if himself? Yes. He's a wizard. They're like that. But he's not the worst person in the world, and he's definitely not the one people should claim as the abuser in his relationship with Mystra.

People call Wyll boring, some paint this idea of him being holier than thou/looking down on everyone around him. Since he was 17 Wyll has given his whole life to protecting people and trying to be a hero. He's self sacrificial, thrown out by his father for making a pact he only made to save the city he adores. Wyll talks so much about baldurs gate. He wants to return.

Wyll has his body altered unwillingly for doing the right thing and yet he never once regrets it. He's made into a devil, the creatures so many of the npcs and companions loathe, for his kindness. He's constantly tricked and mocked by Mizora who we know from the game was sent by Zariel to corrupt a good hearted person. Even still, Wyll is a kind and honest man. He's charming and a bit cheesy but that's fine. Wyll can be incredibly self sacrificial and stubborn in his morals, but if you're running around doing mean things to impress Astarion, you can't blame Wyll for not liking your character and judging you. He's a hero of the people, of course he'd stand with them. We also need to remember he got so heavily redone that he has barely 6 hours of in-game content now. Which is abysmal compared to everyone else.

Lae'zel was raised by a cult, a cult that spans all her people where they're taught to bow and serve a lich queen who promises them glory if they're good enough. She can be harsh and unfriendly, but we need to remember she's the one most aware of what the tadpole can do and with that in mind we know she's very desperate to get things done and cure herself. Next to astarion she's the most evil aligned origins companion, and even still so much of that is due to being brainwashed into a certain belief.

Lae'zel in canon is the youngest companion, very early 20s and it often shows. She's a skilled warrior who doesn't see the need for statements that are already obvious. She's been beaten into shape and filled with ideas that unless she's perfect as the creche commands then she is worthless. She's scared and alone in act 1 with people who most likely don't care about it the same way she does. Lae'zel is imperfect like all the other companions, but if you're willing to accept that astarion is soft under all his bluster, why can't you do the same for Lae'zel?

I don't hate Astarion, I liked him a lot my first playthrough, he was my main romance. But the way the fandom ignores that he's definitely evil in act 1 and 2 because "I just don't see him that way", how people act like he's the only character in the cast who was abused when abuse and the cycles of it are the main theme of the game, how people willfully misunderstand his ascension ending and paint it as his good one when the writers state repeatedly it's not, the way the fandom will insult and demean other characters for jabbing at astarion's trauma but applaud him when he does the same exact thing, when they ignored his racism towards gnomes and gur (which is anti Romani racism repackaged). There's also a chance that in his time, Astarion was a corrupt politician, something making his death more complicated but also adding interest to it that a lot of his fans want to ignore to make him pure.

Astarion isn't perfect, none of the companions are. And they're not supposed to be. But his special treatment by fans is becoming so incredibly tiresome to see.

[essayofthoughts]

BG3 - Durjh Fic Ideas - say more about this pls!!!

OKay! So as people might have guessed I recently fell into a BG3-shaped pit and I am loving the way that every single character has been thoroughly geode-method-ed FOR YOU already. They are all various flavours of traumatised fucked up disasters and it's delightful. And, obviously, I have poked through fics to read, et cetera, et cetera.

In BG3 there's the main six party members also called Origin Characters, a couple of people you can pick up along the way, and then you have a choice. You can

Choose to play as one of this main six party members

Make your own character (default name Tav) to Be You, OR

Play as the one Origin character you can't pick up in the game - The Dark Urge.

The Dark Urge is a murderous child of murder with severe amnesia and also brain damage who, because you play them, has the chance to choose to be better or to double down on the Murder. It's kind of like playing a Tav but with a set backstory and so much more murder, horror and death. Because it's kind of baked in! the Dark Urge aka Durge has a constant murder-headache that only eases when they do a murder! And yet they can choose to do good!

And there's a character you can encounter who's only there in Durge's storyline, Sceleritas Fel, who at one point comments about the pre-amnesia Durge giving money in charity to a beggar, seemingly for no reason - which sure suggests that while Durge is deeply influenced by being a child of murder and their inbuilt murder urge... they have also always had the capacity to be or want to be otherwise.

And I went Oh ho.

You know me, I love Maximum Angst.

So anyway, the Durjh Fic Ideas is me slowly working on an entire canon rewrite based on how I personally would characterise Durge (here named Durjh because I'm a sucker for homophones), which is to say as an amnesiac, brain-damaged, perpetual migraine-ridden, bloodthirsty person who would like to try to do good, but also has no meaningful memories to go off. Their brain is tadpole soup, and only functions because of the illithid tadpole that got shoved in there stitching their brain together!

So... Durjh is a beast. A monster. At times more animal than person. Their conception of "self" is a clusterfuck; they don't entirely think that they're real. They don't understand people - people are messy and complicated - but they understand as animals do where power resides, who is a threat, what is a threat, how to be a threat. They understand that sometimes there's no perfect outcome there's just an outcome you find acceptable. That's good enough.

They also don't understand gender, just because I think that's a fun space to play in - especially given Bhaalists include changelings and doppelgangers. When, for some of one's formative community, gender is a coat slipped on and off at will, why would one have a firm sense of it? And when one adds in the amnesia and the fact their brain is held together by illithid tadpole... they have guesses about gender but ultimately skip it because WTF. Which is fun.

Anyway, that's enough rambling: have Durjh's opinion on Astarion not long after meeting him:

“Well,” the pale elf says. “If we’re to be allies, then.” He makes some terribly elaborate bow that has Durjh squinting as much as the sunlight. “Astarion Ancunín, at your service.” Oh no, that’s too many syllables to leave rattling around their skull right now. Absolutely not. “Right,” they say. “Aster.” The look on the elf’s face is somewhere between offence and outrage and Durjh is already turning away. “I-” “Don’t bother,” Shadow interjects before the elf can get very far. “They’ve been calling me ‘Shadow’ since we met.” “And you are?” he says. From the almost bored tone in his voice, Durjh is getting the impression that this man is going to be more trouble than he’s worth. Given they’re all in a shit situation, that’s going to get annoying. “Shadowheart,” Shadow says, clearly endeavouring to take the high road. “... No, I think they may be right. That’s much better.” The elf catches up to Durjh, and waves a hand in their eyeline. “Anyway. And you are…?” “Durjh.” The elf leans forwards, peering into their face. “Not one for words, are you?” he asks, tone somewhere between mocking and teasing. Durjh doesn’t dignify that with a response, and simply blinks, simple and slow, watching all the while. “Fine, fine,” the man says, holding his hands up. “Well, what’s the plan then? To deal with these things in our heads, I’d imagine?” … not hope. Imagine. Perhaps that’s just this man’s style of speech - certainly Gale’s rambling has introduced them to a flurry of words and phrases they’d not previously known, but… Well. Lae’zel is blunt, direct, unhesitating. Gale is wordy but honest, indirect but warm with humour. Shadow is dry, bitingly sarcastic and brittley sincere by turns. Aster here is… elaborate. Distracting. And, Durjh is reasonably sure, a liar.

[frillyfacefins]

A constructive approach to building a solid Femslash Subculture in a new fandom, a thread (+ anecdotal “Case Study”)

(I posted this as a thread on twitter a week ago in response to some pretty old arguments getting thrown around again; the situation has cooled down now, but somebody asked me to put this thread on tumblr, and I thought it could help some people, so here we go.)

In 2013 I was in the Silmarillion fandom when the Hobbit movies brought in a giant influx of new fans.

I was not one of the people who had been into the Silmarillion for ages, I only just read the book too, and the fandom at the time was very much in flux.

Since Baldur’s Gate is in a similar situation - a very old fandom with a new influx of fans and new characters - I think it might be helpful for me to explain how we created a space for fanwriters and -artists to explore and celebrate femslash ships.

Here are my recommendations for femslash fans who want more f/f fanworks in the Baldur’s Gate 3 fandom, sectioned off in

“3 Warnings”

“3 Ways forward”

and a “””Case Study””” of what happened in the Silmarillion fandom.

Warning 1: Be aware that your fandom is a baby.

Nominally, the game has been out for less than a month. Most people who will write amazing fanfics for your favorite characters maybe don’t even have the game yet because they can’t afford it until the Christmas sales, or they just haven’t finished it yet (like me). Most people don’t want to write for a fandom until they have consumed all available canon. You don’t know how the fandom will look like yet, but you can start building a solid foundation to influence it.

Warning 2: Don’t alienate the Astarion-fans.

Astarion is fandom-bait. He is the exact kind of character people who ‘don’t get it’ have been fuming over for decades, and who people who ‘do get it’ get obsessed with. He is the exact formula that has been working since at least the 80s: A morally grey bad boy with slightly edgy good looks who is also - and this is THE key for this kind of fandom-bait - very vulnerable and can absolutely be made into a better person/ be healed by his love interest.

This is why most heroes in (especially older) romance novels work. This is why Lestat worked. This is why Kylo Ren worked.

The thing is - the people who go gaga over him now? A lot of them will grow bored at some point. Either they will leave the fandom, or they will become invested in other characters from this fandom.

So the worst thing you can do is make them feel like the femslash community is rude, confrontational, whiny. Sorry, but that is how fandom works.

Fanwriters write fanfics for 2 reasons: 1. They have fun while writing something specific. 2. They get great interactions because they write something specific. If they look at the f/f corner and see people constantly fighting or complaining, guess what? They won’t be as interested in writing about their favorite female characters. And especially in Baldur’s Gate 3, the female characters are not easy to love, but once you do, they have potential to make you into absolute stans. I disliked Lae’zel a lot during Act 1, but by now I honestly think she’s the absolutely cutest. And Shadowheart is definitely intriguing, but I want to know how her story ends before I get really invested in her. (And we don’t even have to talk about Karlach…)

Warning 3: Lurkers have no voice in fandom.

Sorry, but this is a fact. If you don’t write fanfic or draw fanart, you don’t get to complain about what other people draw/write about. We create fanworks because we are enjoying them, not because of some social obligation. We are giving you free labor, and if you keep complaining about the things we write because it’s not what you want to see, we will just be less likely to write the things you want to see. So if you don’t create your own fandom content, you can whine as much as you want, but you will just make those who actually do create look at your whole niche of fandom with way less interest than they might have had.

Now, what can you actually do to build the basis for a solid femslash subfandom?

Measure 1: For lurkers: Support those who create fanworks you like.

And I’m not saying financially. I’m coming from an old-school-fandom perspective here. You know what will absolutely make me want to write another fic for a pairing that maybe doesn’t have as much works about them as the big ships? Really, really nice people who either write detailed comments on my fics, or who engage with me on social media - like, actively comment on my post or even hop in my DMs and tell me how much they liked something I have written.

Complaining about people who don’t write your ships is the worst thing you can do. Celebrating people who do write your ships is the best thing you can do.

Measure 2: For most writers: Kind of logical, but - write.

Write long-fic, short-fic, flash-fic about your favorites. Plaster your social media profiles with it. Do monthly challenges, request your pairings in cross-fandom exchanges, write long rambly threads about how awesome they are. Right now, YOU get to potentially create the fanon. You get to sway people’s opinions of characters. And you get to actively build this community.

And please, try not to get discouraged if it’s hard at first. Like I said - this fandom is a tiny baby that only just started screaming its little red head off. New fans will come. And they will do the same as the person in the screenshot, and maybe if they actually look through the ‘other tag’ bar or by filtering for F/F, they will find your works and be super happy about it.

Measure 3: For fans who want to invest more time and effort: Organize cool stuff for your community.

Fests, exchanges, challenges, discord servers, tags on tumblr or mastodon - there are tons of things you can make happen that will inspire people to create. Make a femslash month with themed weeks and prompts every day, for example, both for fanfic, fanart, edits, fanvids, whatever kind of fan-work anybody wants to contribute. Or make a challenge with a list of prompts, or a generator, or anything else you personally are able to do. Invite people to participate. Make it easy. Make it fun and welcoming.

And now to my “”case study”” which is completely anecdotal but which definitely left an expression on me.

The situation: The winter of  2013/2014. The second Hobbit movie has come out, Elrond is hot, Galadriel is hot, Tauriel is polarizing, Legolas looks weird. A ton of new people come into the Tolkien fandom, and discover the Silmarillion.

The Silmarillion-fandom has to deal with a new influx of people like it never has since the LotR-films. These are new fans who are used to new fandoms, not the LJ-survivors who make up a lot of the fandom. The new fans glom onto the usual suspects - Maedhros/Fingon, especially. But with Galadriel and Tauriel being so prominent in the Hobbit movies, the few fans who were already trying to put some femslash flavor in this fandom suddenly get a trickle of new people. Not that many. But some.

And then somebody decides to try and build a little bed for that trickle. Tumblr-User Elleth (not sure if she’s still around) creates the (by now defunct) archive “Textual Ghosts” to register all 600 unnamed wife characters in Tolkien’s work. A labor of extreme love for a fandom, and a big stepping stone for a developing femslash-subfandom. Soon afterward, tumblr-user Elleth and I start the first Legendarium Ladies April Event (legendariumladiesapril.tumblr.com) which would - without my continued support because I’m a fickle bitch and I’m still sorry about that - continue until 2020 and fill the event archives on AO3 with 150 new fics - which doesn’t seem a lot, but it also leaves out a lot of fanfics, fanart, fanpoems, fanedits etc. that were only ever posted on tumblr.

Meanwhile, I - always a multi-shipper and not devoted only to femslash, but VERY devoted to kinky smut which is also not really such a big thing in the Silmarillion fandom at this time - open a kink meme for the fandom. It creates a few new smuttier fanworks, but it also creates a few handful of female-centric works when I make a mini-event for world women’s day.

I am sorry to say that I abandoned this one too after about a year or two, but the kink meme is still there. (It would take another 8 years for somebody to be like “Hey so maybe you have incapacitating adhd, would you like to try ritalin?”)

Anyway, in this way, that trickle did become a brook. The M/M and even M/F works still outnumbered the F/F ones by miles, but F/F fans (and fans of female-centric works) WERE fed. And maybe more importantly - we built a community of people interested in the stories of women who were treated extremely badly by their source material. We made friends, we wrote stories for one another, we had fun. And that’s how you make a community within a fandom - you find some way to make it FUN.

(If Elleth should read this, I’m sorry for being an absolute flake, you’re wonderful.)

Oh also this is when I realized I’m not straight. So there’s that, too.

So if really love a fandom and you want to have more femslash works in this fandom? Start working towards it. You don't have to do it alone, there are other people out there who want to help you. But you need to find each other.

And you REALLY need to encourage each other.

(And also, stop making people outside of the femslash space associate you with nothing but complaints. That's not going to bring anybody into the fold. Be inviting, welcoming, have fun, be a positive community people WANT to join.)

And just to make my own position a little clearer:

[jojoma]

Why Astarion x Karlach, part 3

FYI: I'm writing about my current favorite ship to help organize my thoughts part 1 / part 2 / part 4

Now I wanna talk about relationships. My favourite trope for any romance is from BFFs to lovers (honestly, I think it's good working for real life too, but I don't want put this topic here). It's clear that people and their relationships are changeable and we don't know what to expect from others (or even from ourselves). So friends can become a couple after a while. I won't mind the trope from enemies to lovers too, but with only sexual urge it's kinda not deep and lame. I adore when fictional lovers also are BFFs (for me It's also the same to "sibling" energy between them, ofc if we don't talk about real incest). I mean it's so hilarious and brings them even closer in a safe way. In the classic way of dating, characters (and real persons though) try to impress each other or at least hide their flaws. It's ok, but I find it boring (in rare cases it may be entertaining). Perhaps I need a comedy at the beginning and a drama at the end for full spectrum of emotions.

So when someone says about Astarion and Karlach “they are like brother and sister in communications” I agree in one way, but in the another they actually flirt from the beginning and at least Karlach tells Tav that she is attracted to Astarion — check this and this. Even if they just kidding I clearly see how they have a match for lovemaking. Come on, Karlach is a literally hot machine looking for an intimacy and Astarion trying to seduce anyone who can protect him. They have to end with sex in any script, if didn't find an another lover. So in my opinion their friendly/sibling energy doesn't interfere being passionate lovers (u can call me strange by the way, but I warned about my specific tastes).

Another point here is a depth of intimacy and acceptance. I like when a broken character found a support from a close person. I love vulnerable and heartbreaking moments between people who truly understand each other. And I adore when they are try to heal each other in the some way or keep safe from harm (occasionally it's mean do not push another person to change). I think, this level of relationship needs or some time or some kind of backstory. Astarion and Karlach do it in all ways. Thanks to Karlach's heart they can not have sex until act 2, and it keep them in safe "friend" zone ("non touchable" will be more correct). It means more time for talking. Just remember the funny first romance scene with Astarion in Karlach's orig playthrough. After his disturbances, he gives in and says: “But maybe that's not a bad thing. All right Karlach, let's try it your [he means just talk]”. We also know how much Astarion hates a sexual intimacy and needs time to rethink that part of his life. And in the romance with Karlach, Astarion can avoid any sexual interaction at all. And in both playthroughs they have options about slow a lil down (romance with Astarion, romance with Karlach). That's make so much sense.

I don't need talking about how their stories and dramas are similar. I also appreciate how they are different in ways to overcome, temperaments, lifestyles and etc (if you need more information read this and this). As they say — opposites attract.

I've already said so much, but not everything yet.

[mycosmicsage]

Baldur's Gate Charts: Karlach

Karlach is one of my favorite characters in the whole game, and I'm really excited to be delving into her next.

She is one of those types of people that puts it all out there for people, and does not give two shits what they think.

So with that being said, I'm going to be going into her chart just like the others. Based on pure vibes only. None of this is cannon based on the fact that they aren't on Earth, and we don't have canon birthdays.

So with nothing further, let's get in to it with our Fiery Friend-

Presenting- Baldur's Gate Charts Karlach.

Others in the series:

Astarion Gale Wyll

"Sharp instincts, sharp weapons, and a knack for improvisation."

This is one that has run through my head over and over again. It's actually what inspired my to start this series in the first place.

Karlach is an Aries Sun. 

She's impulsive, passionate, childish, puts her whole-self into whatever she's doing. Not to mention that Aries is known for getting head injuries, and Karlach's coated in those.

She's a bright ball of light, that knows what she wants, and she'll do whatever she can to get what she wants. Karlach is very much a get-up and go kind of person. I mean the day after her second romance scene she apologizes for slipping away because she was just buzzing.

Karlach is one of those people that always has energy and is just on the get up and go. Getting to the point where she does her little jig to keep her body and mind entertained.

If that's not pure Aries energy, I don't know what is.

"Ah, c'mon, let's not spoil an effective thing. You point, I rage, we win. Doesn't need to be more complicated than that."

"Baby, I'm nothing if not frolicsome."

If there is one thing that I have learned about Karlach over my many hours, it is that she a deeply caring person. Well. Deeply, emotive I guess is the way to put it.

Leading me to say that Karlach is a Cancer moon.

Karlach genuinely cares about the people that she's traveling with. She goes out of her way to make sure that they are taken care of, and looked after. You can see that through her dialogue, and her reactions to what's going on around her.

This is put on clear display after every major event that happens within the companions. She's constantly thinking about the safety and well-being of the people that she's come to care about. All of this while also being very intune with herself and what she's feeling. Albeit, it's not necessarily the calm waves usually expected from Cancer and more like white water rafting when it comes to emotions-

But I digress Karlach's in tune with herself, making me very confident in this placement.

"Look, I've got you. If you need a rest, lean on me. If you need a hand, take mine, if you need an ear, I've got two. Whatever you need."

"Karlach doesn't worry, she acts."

One of my favorite things is the rising sign, because it really is who you are to everyone else right? Then you take that and place it up against your sun and moon, and see what you got working. Because that shows how your inner self lines up with your outer self. Are you wearing a mask? Or are you being genuine?

Let me tell ya, Karlach's genuine, leading me to believe that she is an Aries rising.

As I said before Karlach is a very passionate person and she puts her whole self out there. Leading me to believe that her inner-self aligns with her outer self in totality. She can't sit still, she doesn't like being bored, she likes to handle her problems head on.

Overall, Karlach isn't the type to avoid drama, or study her problems from afar. She doesn't have time for that, just like an Aries rising.

"Ah, fine. I'll be here eating dirt or whatever."

"Now you're speaking my language."

Karlach's pretty blunt, and not super poetic. Though she has very colorful language.

Between the options of Pisces, Aries, and Taurus- what do you think she is?

Right, it's Aries again (I'm sensing another pattern).

Aries tends to have this way of keeping conversations engaging, and lit up. Which Karlach certainly does. When she talks it's hard not to listen, at least in my own opinion. The way that she speaks shows the flow of her emotions, mashed with her own level of spunk. Giving incredible dialogue when she's going into a rage, or facing off against Gortash.

Not to mention they have a penitent for the truth, brutal levels of honesty. I don't know how many have, but reading through her dialogue, it physically pains me to read through the breakup dialogue. She tears you a new one, she does not soften her blows. Karlach will always come at you with her full mind, and tell you exactly what's on it, not holding anything back.

"Well, tell him to pick the right one. Better yet, I'll do it."

"I've got plans for the future, you know. And they involve you."

There's a range of five signs to pick from. For me. I think it's pretty clear what her venus is out of the restrictions that I've placed on myself.

Karlach is a Taurus venus. (After a lot of internal debate).

So the thing with Karlach is that there is no doubt in my mind that the Aries part of her takes up a lot of her reactions to different situations. However, her main placement here is Taurus.

When romancing Karlach she says that she feels less changeable, and that she's ready for what's coming.

My guess is growing up the Aries portion took over a lot of those quick flare feelings. But now that she's had the time to actually sit down with someone she can actually tap into her Venus, finding something stable and reliable within someone else. Allowing herself to find the harmony that she has been missing out on for so long. The softer side of Venus showing when she takes you on a date, and in her act two romance scene where you take things slow.

Karlach is a very sweet woman, and I'm honestly really happy with this placement for her.

"making you laugh is my greatest accomplishment, every time I manage it."

"I won't know peace till I've dug my thumbs into his eyes."

Karlach is the kind of person where her rage and anger is definitely pointed, and she holds a deep vendetta against those who have wronged her.

Karlach is a Scorpio Mars.

For me this was a bit of a harder placement, it was between Scorpio and Aries again. But the reason I figured Scorpio over Aries is because it rolls back to the fact that Karlach really hasn't had the time to grow into herself outside of Aries. If she was fully an Aries Mars when confronting Gortash during his coronation, she would go off the rails and try to gut him there. But she doesn't. She trusts the player to make the right moves. Instead choosing to act on her own need for vengeance at a later time. Knowing that she is going to have her opportunity.

It goes to show that she knows when things need to be taken care of later, yet still holds the same amount of intensity as the fire signs. Now this placed with her Taurus venus (opposition right?), goes to show that she's a very passionate and intense lover. Which I think is well enough said.

"She'll try to break our best asset: Our trust. Fortunately she's no match for our second-best asset: me.

"Some people have all the luck."

Karlach has one of the hardest lives we know of in the Baldur's Gate universe (that being said this is not the pain olympics). But Karlach is one of the people that definitely didn't have it easy in any sort of manner. Grew up in the outer city, both of her parents died when she was young, got sold off to the blood war by a step-in paternal figure, lost her heart, and then fought in said war for ten years. Just to escape to get a mind flayer tadpole in the eye, and then finds out she can't even stay.

That being said, Karlach is a Sagittarius Jupiter.

Yeeeeeeeah. The luckiest sign in the zodiac belongs to Karlach. Albeit the crap hand that Karlach has been dealt she is still incredibly positive. Always looking to the brighter side of life, taking every moment for what it's worth, and enjoying anything that she can get out of it.

Karlach always talks about how great it is to be back, with people she cares about and can trust, all the little things she missed being in Avernus. This is the mark of someone who truly appreciates the world for what it is, and doesn't want to miss a thing. Speaking to Sagittarius Jupiter on a whole other level.

Karlach wants to live her life, and experience all the good things coming out of it. Ignoring the bad hands being dealt towards her. She still looks for those little silver moments: Minthara getting pregnant, finding romance with the time she has remaining, being able to touch again.

I could go on and on, but I think it's best summed up in the quote below.

"For every knock we take, I feel like I get a little treat just to keep me going."

"Escaping fate happens to be my speciality."

Just as Karlach's Jupiter is in Sagittarius, her Saturn is as well.

She gets the best and the worst of the world. Constantly getting luck and then losing it just as fast. Two sides of the same coin. Structure and Karmic learning paired with the growth and expansion of Jupiter.

One thing that we know about Karlach is she's pretty stubborn. She won't listen about returning to the hells while looking for a cure, she doesn't want to talk about it, when she does talk about the fact that she's going to die she feels feels like she needs to enjoy every last bit of life cause there's not much left.

All the while being terrified that this is actually going to happen. Whether she wants it to or not. She is going to die, and there is nothing she can do. Everything that she wants to experience and still be there for, she can't. Wishful thinking, and dreams that can't come true (or what she thinks). To have these both here within these placements and conjunct one another speaks to a person who has taken a beating and learned from it. Still able to look at the bright side of everything.

While also knowing the loss that can be coming your way in a moments notice. Saturn gives us our life lessons, and Karlach learned them. When Sagittarius is here the life lessons to learn is avoiding hypocrisy, listening to others' viewpoints, making your own code of conduct and following it, finding your morals- and she does. Karlach had to. Fighting in a war for ten years would change anyone. But it doesn't get to Karlach because she learned how to strengthen her own resolve.

Creating the badass tiefling we all know and love.

"I don't have the luxury of avoiding what's coming. "

"I think I can do anything if you're there. Even die."

One of the things I'm sure you noted is that most of Karlach's placements are in Aries. Giving her a stellium.

Here's the thing. People with Stelliums are destined to have a karmically difficult path. As i've said Karalch has had an incredibly difficult one that she's been walking. Now unlike the lessons of Jupiter and Saturn that look at the teaching of finding the brighter optimistic paths of life, and living it to the fullest, while maintaining a grounded approach. The stellium does not.

Specifically, dependent on stellium, you find the path that the person needs to learn from. Karlach needs to learn how to not be so trusting, when to not put her whole-self into something. When to take her heart off of her sleeve. Because her stellium is found in the first house. Her Sun, Rising, and Mercury conjuncting off of one another. This leads to identity and how you personally interact with the world.

Karlach's lesson and the one that I think she is really truly learning within the confines of the story, is how to not be so damn independent. Aries is a sign that focused on the "I" of things. Karlach, while she enjoys being around other people, and caring about them, most certainly does not trust anyone else with any of the crap she's going through. Not wanting to subject anyone else to it.

But it's right there isn't it? Right at the end of it all, when she finally has people she knows she can trust and she doesn't have to be the the strongest anymore, that she can finally see reason. Where she listens to the people who

Wrap Up: "I think we've earned a celebration. Don't you?"

That wraps up it up for Karlach. She has definitely been one of the easiest characters for me to place based on vibes. I kind of knew as soon as I saw her within game what I would expect her birth chart to be. One of the things that made her so easy is just the way that she's so bright and emotive. There are only so many signs that can lend to that kind of energy, that amount of boldness. Which I suppose is one of the reasons that I love her character so much.

She really doesn't hide herself from you, and tells you what she's thinking. She's genuine, excitable, curious, and she cares. Even when I was looking through her dialogue there wasn't anything that really came as a surprise. She doesn't change her manner of speech, her personality for anyone. Not even the player. Karlach is who she is, and that will and always be one badass barbarian who could throw us over her shoulder, should the need arise.

Stay groovy, and I'll catch you on the flip,

Cosmic Sage ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Check out my other internet spaces!

[syrupwrit]

Shadowheart fic ideas

-

General ideas.

Rescue attempt after evil!PC gives Shadowheart over to the Sharrans at the House of Grief.

Post-game. Rescue attempt after Shadowheart is kidnapped by Sharrans.

Post-game. In a parents-and-cottage Selunite ending, characters seeing that Shadowheart and her dad are exhausted and cracking from taking care of her mom and coordinating 24/10 elder care support from unlikely members of the community. (This is pure wish fulfillment and also against my IRL politics, as I don't believe in mutual aid as a solution to care needs. Nonetheless!)

-

Shadowheart/Minthara.

Minthara thinks Dark Justiciar Shadowheart is too needy because she wants to cuddle after sex. And she's right. :(

Idk, this is one of those ships where I'd happily view 100 beautiful fancy art pieces of them fucking, but I'd need to read 100k of -- okay, no, actually it would only take ~10k of them as messy FWBs navigating political intrigue for me to romantically ship them.

-

Shadowheart/Karlach.

They're too compatible for me to ship them right now.

Or. Sigh. Okay. Post-game, parents-cottage ending and Karlach's heart got fixed. Karlach comes to stay with Shadowheart and her parents for a bit. They're mutually pining but reticent to acknowledge it. Shadowheart is like, She'll get bored, also I can't ask her to take on this burden, and Karlach is like lol what if we got married tho.

-

Shadowheart/Wyll.

Post-game. Parents-cottage and Blade of Avernus endings. Wyll, back in Baldur's Gate after Karlach's heart got fixed, needs a date to a political function; Shadowheart needs to get out of the house. They probably foil a ducal assassination attempt as a side quest.

Post-game. Selunite moonmotes ending for Shadowheart, any ending for Wyll. The PC is a CAD and a RAKE and runs off on a pregnant, engaged Shadowheart for nefarious reasons! A sympathetic and chivalrous Wyll subsequently becomes stepfather to multiple werewolf cubs.

-

Shadowheart/Lae'zel.

I don't not ship Shadowheart/Lae'zel; I just haven't found a hook for them. Tbh part of it is that, like, I find Lae'zel endearing and funny, and I enjoy romanticizing her purity of heart, but she's not sexy to me -- yet.

Potentially I could test that by writing something where she gets really beaten up and risks it all for the party's common good -- not even Shadowheart's personal good, she's verbally rude to Shadowheart and not kind in how she treats her nonverbally/action-wise -- and for some reason that makes Shadowheart be like, Wait a minute... Lae'zel? And then she notices that she's just as strong as Karlach, she's more vulnerable than she acts, they're more aligned on some party decisions than she realized, and whoops she has a thing for Lae'zel.

Aftermath of Lae'zel getting rescued from Orin.

Post-game. Orpheus rebellion ending. Somehow Shadowheart gets swept into the rebels' attempts to unite with the githzerai and ends up being really good at negotiating with them -- much to Lae'zel's and her own consternation, given her -1 in Charisma.

Post-game. Shadowheart finally shows Lae'zel how she braids her hair. It could be called "mischief with hairpins."

-

Shadowheart/Gale.

Post-game. Professor Gale and Dark Justiciar Shadowheart act like they have a mindfucky, antagonistic frenemies-with-benefits situation, but really it's more that Gale does whatever she wants and they're both about five seconds from mutually confessing their love at any point while they're together. He hopes she'll renounce Shar, but knows she won't; she pretends to be playing a long game to, idk, corrupt him or something, but secretly is absolutely desperate for his affection. If there's any resolution, rather than just a sketch of how things are, her cloister rebels against her and he has to rescue her.

-

Shadowheart/Astarion.

I'm a little crazy about this ship atm sorry lol.

Post-game. They broke up. Now Sharrans have kidnapped Shadowheart, and Astarion is trying to rescue her, potentially with Nocturne's help. He's reluctant about it, a little annoyed that he agreed to bail out his ex, and then he gets there and sees her being hurt and freaks the fuck out.

Post-game, parents-and-cottage Selunite ending. They broke up because Astarion felt like he didn't fit in her life. He sabotaged the relationship and got her to dump him instead of articulating this. Now he's back in town for, idk, Wyll's wedding, and he notices this elvish woman with elaborate braids that he thinks might signify being married (they don't), but he only sees her from behind, and when she turns around he's like omg it's Shadowheart. And then they have it out and get back together.

Same as the last idea, but in this one, she's also pregnant with someone else's kid. Probably it's Halsin's kid. She just wanted a child, and Halsin obliged her. Astarion is the most jealous that anyone has ever been in their lives about this, and Shadowheart is like ??? It's not your business? Keep that to yourself?? Ultimately they work things out and get back together, but the way there is a mess.

??? Idk. Other stuff too!

[satanicspinosaurus]

I think like Wyll (beyond being an AMAZING way to show how racism happens in video games too) really shows how, to a degree, people romanticize mental health issues.

Now let me be clear: I am not saying we need to be meaner, crueler, less helping or anything like that. I'm a big ol' radicalist who wants way more free health care and accessibility. But I do want to point out that people in this fandom find Wyll boring and Astarion interesting very often. You know, two people who were forcibly changed into "monsters". I think a bit of it is, well Astarion acts more like we expect trauma suffers to. He's complex, he's moody, he's up, he's down, he's trying, he's failing, he's happy, etc. Wyll is stable. Wyll has big "I was a mature kid" vibes (ie parentification). Wyll is cannonically very charming- he's good at smiling and letting shit slide over him. And frankly, I don't think enough game time was devoted to letting him explain in his own terms how fucked up shit is. (Do you know how much energy it takes to be that stable. It is not an easy thing!) Wyll's response to trauma is classically (positive) masculine. He chooses to be kind, not out of lack of violence but an abundance of it. He chooses to hold onto fairy tales and live life on his own terms. He has created a hero persona he tries to live up to. He sees kids about to die as refugees and decides "cool, going to be nice and try to help". Wyll is 100% the person in real life you one day find out has the WORST childhood experiences and you never knew because he's just so NICE and STABLE and HELPFUL.

He's boring in a video game because you don't have to worry about the real life consequences of trauma that say, again, Astarion has. (As someone who has had violent nightmares and goes into "let's not die mode" it's terrifying for the other person involved!)

Anyway, if you see a Wyll IRL- idk give him some cookies or something. He'd love them (might even say huzzah). But also like....if someone is trying that hard to be good, think about the environment that could inspire that.

I think the biggest disservice bg3 fans do to Wyll is by making him out to be the ‘normal’ guy. He’s easily the most unhinged person there. He’s like ‘look, Father! Would a catastrophic disappointment do THIS?’ And gets one of his limbs turned into a giant tentacle or smth to save a box of kittens. Exposed to Mizora and didn’t become a misogynist. I heard him say ‘huzzah’. I want to study him.

[lindira]

Uncommon Creator Questions for Envy

Part 5! Questions taken from this list of Uncommon Questions for OCs and their creators.

A) Why are you excited about this character?

I'm excited about Envy because I've rarely written characters - especially in fanfic - who are not distinctly good. Envy has a kind of morality that is more flexible than my other OCs, like Aeric or Tangerine. While I wouldn't characterize him as a "bad" character by any means, he definitely leans toward the Chaotic Neutral. He will do what he feels is right, but also isn't above being vindictive or doing things purely for shits and giggles.

B) What inspired you to create them?

I went into playing BG3 with the intention of doing multiple playthroughs to romance folks. I wound up really liking both Astarion and Gale, but the character I was playing - Peppermint - was so much of a goody-two-shoes that Astarion wouldn't give her the time of day. So I wanted to make a character for Astarion who played less by the rules and wasn't above doing things for their own gain. I also really wanted to try being a bard and built a personality for him out of his being a performer.

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

Sort of? I went through a few iterations of what Envy's backstory with Astarion looked like. I was inspired by Astarion's line when you meet him that you're both from Baldur's Gate but the two of you "must have run in different circles". So I wondered, what if they hadn't? What if they had met before the events of the game and happened upon each other again after the crash? Envy's story started to come together after that.

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

I've played with Envy's hair a lot but his general physicality has remained the same. His hair started out being a lot shorter (see above), then I tried even shorter styles for a little while. The styles I tried looked great, but they didn't quite feel like "him" until I went for the shoulder-length half-braided thing he has going on now. I might still play with his hair as I go along. He's a bit vain, so I think he (and I) will be playing with hairstyles regularly.

I'm also considering having him try some makeup too, for when he's feeling a bit femme. He's genderfluid/non-binary, and I'm looking forward to dressing him up when we get some of the nicer camp clothes in Act 3.

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

I think Envy and I would get along, but probably not be good friends. I'm pretty quiet, and Envy likes to talk, which is a great combination for both of us. However, I'm really stubborn about my sense of morality, and he's very flexible in that regard. He'd try to do something stupid or a little mean-spirited for the sake of having fun, and I'd flat out refuse. I think he'd probably think I'm a little boring.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

Pride and excitement, mostly. Even though I've been talking about how morally neutral Envy is, he has a good heart at the core of him. Also, his story with Astarion is pretty angst-ridden. Anybody who knows my writing also knows how much I like writing angst, so I'm really looking forward to their story.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

I don't know if Envy has any traits that bother me. Any flaws or wrongdoing will just make him more fun for me to write. That said, he's a bit of an alcoholic, which makes me a little sad for him.

H) What trait do you admire most?

Envy has a tenacity to him that I really admire. If he wants something, he does what he can to get it. If he has a goal, he works hard to achieve it. If he loves someone (*cough* Astarion *cough*), he does his damnedest to show them just how much they're loved and to keep them as long as possible until they inevitably (in his mind) abandon him. He falters from time to time, but always gets up, dusts himself off, and keeps trying to live his best life.

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

For now. I could see bringing Envy and Astarion into a modern or AU universe at some point, but I think most of their stories will be rooted in the BG3 setting.

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

Well, the biggest canon factor that I'm manipulating is that Tav and Astarion have never met before. In Envy's story, he met Astarion 3-4 years ago and knew each other quite well before losing contact with each other.

I'm also going to be tweaking game rules or mechanics that don't work for me. For example, I'll be bringing more D&D things like spells or magic items or spell component requirements just because I think the greater complexity of casting magic makes sense from a narrative perspective. I also think resurrecting people from the dead will be considerably harder than just bringing your dead friend to Grandpa Boneman for revival. The lack of threat from death kinda puts a damper on the potential for angst. I'm not sure if it'll come up in a fic, but yeah... More D&Dish rules for resurrection will apply if it does.

[satanicspinosaurus]

> “The next morning, Gale walks up to his shared office” 

Astarion. Stop being mean to the assistants! Give Octavia her own space so Gale can still offer to let her hang out, but like she gets a door. > "Ah! My favorite assistant!” Lying still, I see. (Probably not exactly, but still.) I love seeing how he’s still just a flatterer. Like in a paragraph with his quip about Gale’s sweater. (Is it honest, idk? But it’s certainly a pattern of behavoir.) > "Thank you for trusting me to bring her on board, she's a wonderful addition." 

Well, that answers that. 

>energy potions SNORT >Gale places his books on the desk softly, meanwhile Astarion places the cups down, picks up a book, and slams it on the table in front of her. Let Astarion be a bastard challenge: you win. >"I'M AWAKE! I'M HERE!!" Someone is a recent grad, lol. >"I'm sorry, I didn't know" Gale mouths to her, he hands her the coffee and begins to gather the room. My man, Gale. Always a sweetie. 

>”Please tell me you aren't one of those people who asks for the drink with the longest name just to feel important?" Gale ABSOLUTELY would be hyper specific about his coffee order. That is a man who knows how to read a lot, live in a tower and fixate. No way he hasn’t had a “coffee experiment” at one point and has strong opinions on what temp to heat which milk to. >Gale shoots him a suspicious glare, "What have you done now?

Gale has worked with Astarion for a while it seems. 

>"No offense, dearest Gale, I just don't want it leaving this office and we all know how you like to take work home." 

OK, so for one ‘dearest Gale’ is amazing. Two, it also seems Astarion has worked with Gale for a long time. >"Can't have that beautiful mind of yours working too much, you'll turn into Gale, and I feel like you're far too much fun for that, hmm?" I love how half the time we have Astarion start out by insulting our Tavs. The other part of the time, we have him insult Gale. 

>He's slightly taller than her, TALL QUEEN >She sees the vulpine expression start on his lips

Ohhhhh yes, that fits him well

>Live a little, dearest." His voice dripped with suggestive candor.

Someone should tell Astarion not to be flirty with Assistants this quick. Workplace harassment charges. (Personal thing for me, I get suspension of disbelief for the genre but it’s a bone I pick up often.) >"So he wants you to rest but he gives you another gargantuan responsibility to fulfill? I don't get that man sometimes."

He’s a man of contradictions kind of dumb sometimes like that, Gale. 

>The last of the visitors are filing out, their dull rumblings and soft murmurs keep her company for a moment.

Oh Satan, I love that

>"That's all in a day's work for me. Having to put on airs to impress people who wouldn't even give me a second glance had I not worked my way up to where I am now.”

You know, I really love that Astarion has maintained his sense of self this long. Lots of older vampires get bored with life, but he seems to have kept his hand in the game. Like yeah, the players change but people at their core often just want a pretty face to wine and dine them as they said. And yes, it’s often for things they didn’t even properly value. Like yeah, it is core, a smart person can get invitations like that for shockingly cheap but it’s the care that really pushes it over the top. He could lose himself in becoming rich or powerful, but I think that would be closer to him ascending in a way. Here he feels like he’s leveled up and we’ve just caught up with him later. >Black preferably.Of course.

>”Spend some of that graduation money you mentioned and get yourself something nice." Expense pay, dumb dumb. Although his later line about her deserving it does soften it a lot more me. Like, yeah people need help learning to care for themselves. Especially recent grads.

>Looks like I'll have to look for Gale at his place. Oh Satan I hope we get to see that. 

Memories of Us Chapter 4

Chapter list (1) (2) (3)

I have no clue what to even say, all the support, reblogs, and comments from everyone who has been reading this beautiful thing I've had in my daydreams has been pretty amazing. I can't thank you all enough 💕

Summary: Octavia has a little mess to clean up.

As always, thanks goes to my beta and best friend @micropoe10 . She's the driving force behind this idea because she kept telling me how good it was. So thanks, I owe you many lol.

Inspired by @cheesy-cryptid 's piece of fan art that buried itself in my brain and kept telling me what to write.

Chapter 4

"sleep til the sun burns out"

The next morning, Gale walks up to his shared office. Octavia should have already begun on the last of their tasks. At least a month of work finally coming to an end. They decided early on to share the office he had, after all one person doesn't need that much space to themselves. As he fumbles with the door, Astarion stops him. "Ah! My favorite assistant! Good morning Gale. I trust that you and our dear Octavia are prepared for the opening?"

Gale enthusiastically nods. The coffees he's got stacked on top of his pile of books are slightly shaking. He catches himself against the door and steadies the drinks, "Oh most definitely. Octavia has been staying after hours a few nights, at her insistence mind you, and she's incredible! She did at least three days of work in only half the time! I don't know what I would do without her at this point."

A small blush lands on his cheeks and he clears his throat. "Thank you for trusting me to bring her on board, she's a wonderful addition." Gale smiles awkwardly as Astarion gets in front of him and takes the cups. "Let me hold this for you before you wear this instead of your dashing sweater." Gale's shoulders fall a bit and he rolls his eyes.

They walk into the office to see a gigantic mess. Books, paperwork, pens, all matter of snack foods and energy potions surround Octavia and Gale's combined desks. "Octavia? Are you...?" Gale places his books on the desk softly, meanwhile Astarion places the cups down, picks up a book, and slams it on the table in front of her.

"I'M AWAKE! I'M HERE!!" Octavia springs up, a small note stuck to her cheek. She looks around bleary-eyed and rubs her face, as the room comes into focus, two faces come into view. Gale, and...OH SHIT. "MR. ANCUNIN! GOOD MORNING!!!"

She looks around and sees the mess left behind, quickly fixing her hair and ripping the note off her face. "I'm sorry, I didn't know" Gale mouths to her, he hands her the coffee and begins to gather the room. She puts her face in her arms and hides into the desktop. Thoroughly embarrassed, she lifts her head and looks at Astarion. "Good morning...sorry...I just really wanted to be done, and good news. It's done." She takes a lazy swig of her drink.

Astarion yawns and sips a bit from Gale's cup, coughing dramatically."Gods! How many sugars do you add to this?! This tastes absolutely vile!" He makes a disgusted face and places the cup back on the desk.

"Please tell me you aren't one of those people who asks for the drink with the longest name just to feel important?" He huffs, rolling his head to the side. "I'm not sure how to react to that." Octavia states, she looks down at the pile of papers Gale has already gathered.

She gets up to help, but Astarion stops her. "There's actually a reason I came by to see you both. Something that will pique both of your interests." Gale shoots him a suspicious glare, "What have you done now?" Astarion smiles and places down a well worn book, its black and red cover fraying like it's about to disintegrate if you sneeze in its direction.

"While I was away in the Underdark, I met with a lovely mind flayer and hobgoblin who had all kinds of interesting rare artifacts. One of which was this very book. They told me that this was procured during the siege on the Szarr estate, I'm hoping that it has more insight into our mysterious subject."

He slides the book over in between Octavia and Gale. "I'd love for the pair of you to tackle this long game Gale has played by himself. Octavia, your dedication to our last project surely landed you the task of caring for this book. Not a soul is to even breathe on it. That means you too, Gale."

He tilts his gaze over to Gale who scoffs a little at the notion that he can't read this book. "No offense, dearest Gale, I just don't want it leaving this office and we all know how you like to take work home." He pats Gale on the shoulder as he turns to leave the shared space.

"Also, one last thing. No more overnights, Octavia. You need your beauty rest, my darling. I've told you once before.." he leans in close to Octavia's left side and softly speaks near her ear "Can't have that beautiful mind of yours working too much, you'll turn into Gale, and I feel like you're far too much fun for that, hmm?"

She turns to him, their faces a few inches from each other. He's slightly taller than her, but in this closeness, he feels ten feet tall. His eyes hidden again behind pitch black lenses pierce through her, and the previous chill builds in her core, a shudder escapes her lips as the flush creeps onto her face. "Of course, sir, no more overnights."

She keeps her gaze on the glasses, her own eyes watching in return. She sees the vulpine expression start on his lips "Octavia, what have I told you about calling me 'sir'? We're in private chambers, not the atrium. Live a little, dearest." His voice dripped with suggestive candor.

Octavia on the other hand, was melting into the floor underneath her in return. She's never been around someone so well spoken, and it's pretty intimidating. "Of course....Astarion. I will go home tonight and sleep in my bed, not on my desk." She smiles timidly, back up at her as she looks towards him. "Wonderful, glad to hear it."

Astarion turns quickly on his heels, he must have somewhere to be. Octavia turns to Gale, an incredulous look on his face. "So he wants you to rest but he gives you another gargantuan responsibility to fulfill? I don't get that man sometimes." He shakes his head and keeps filing away paperwork.

—--------------------------------------------------

Later on, Octavia finalizes the displays and wanders back to her office. The last of the visitors are filing out, their dull rumblings and soft murmurs keep her company for a moment. As she turns the corner, mind elsewhere, she doesn't notice the person in front of her until it's too late.

The shock is like walking into a wall, her little pad falls to the floor and her forehead starts to feel warm. "You know, we really have to stop running into each other like this" there's a tiny sarcastic laugh behind the statement.

Astarion was standing in front of her and Gale's office holding two black envelopes adorned with silver writing. One for Gale and the other for her. "I meant to give this to you earlier. Before we got caught up in…all that…" he grimaces towards the office.

"Anyway, we're having a little party here for the board members, staff, beneficiaries, pretty much anyone who wants to have their name on a wing or a bench. I came to give you and Gale your invitations but you were both gone. Figured you actually listened to me for once." He shrugs loosely, picks up Octavia's notepad, and hands it back to her along with the envelope.

The black matte paper was smooth in her hands, her name embossed in silver leaf. She flips over the envelope and sees a silver wax seal with a Sharran symbol stamped in the middle. "Spared no expense, huh?" She remarks as she opens it.

"No, of course not. How do you think we pay for all the exhibits? We have to wine and dine these benevolent people to give us more gold to cover what I spent trying to convince other people to let me have their pretty little treasures they kept in dilapidated, crumbling, piles of rubble and bone for two hundred years." Astarion rambles sardonically, waving his hands as he rounds off. "That's all in a day's work for me. Having to put on airs to impress people who wouldn't even give me a second glance had I not worked my way up to where I am now. I've been one with the shadows for as long I can remember."

His voice lowers, a forlorn twinge to his words. "Having to sort through rushed, sloppy graves. You almost feel sorry for the corpses, I think I do. Hmm. Nevermind any of that. There's a dress code by the way. Black preferably. Spend some of that graduation money you mentioned and get yourself something nice."

He brushes some hair off Octavia's shoulder, his hand lingers there for a bit. She stares at his hand there and looks back at him, wide eyed. "You deserve it after all." He takes his hand off, placing both his arms behind his back. "Well I'm off. Looks like I'll have to look for Gale at his place. I'll see you there, dearest."

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